2693 Welcome My Friends. Here is a complete collection of [...]
Welcome My Friends. Here is a complete collection of The Most Interesting Man in the World Quotes.
It’s up to you to help us put them in the right order. All the user submitted ones are at the bottom… Put Thumbs Up or Thumbs Down in the Comments to rank them (like YouTube)… The best ones are at the top- be sure to check out all the user submitted ones tho for hidden gems! Make sure you post yours as well.
Tags: Dos Equis
New 2011:
Recomended Listening
If he were to pat you on the back, you would list it on your resume.
Both sides of his pillow are cool.
When in Rome, they do as he does.
His words carry weight that would break a less interesting mans jaw.
He’s won trophies for his game face alone.
He bowls… Overhand.
New 2010:
“He is the life of parties he has never attended”
“If he were to punch you in the face, you’d have to fight off the urge to thank him.”
“Sharks Have a week dedicated to him.”
Classics
- Police often question him, just because they find him interesting.
- His beard alone has experienced more than a lesser mans body.
- His blood smells like cologne.
- He has amassed an amazingly large DVD collection, and has never once alphabetised it.
- If he were to mail a letter without postage, it would still get there.
- The pheromones he secretes effect people miles away… in a slight, but measurable way.
- He once punched a magician. That’s right, you heard me.
- His hands feel like rich, brown swede.
- He lived in the hills of the Serengeti for a summer after being gifted a wife by a local tribes men.
- He owns 4 sports cars, and rents 5.
- He taught a horse to read his email for him.
- He almost broke the land speed record in 1977, popular opinion among his team was that is beard caused to much wind resistance. He would have shaved it… No, no he wouldn’t have.
- He was the featured man at a bachelorette auction he brought in over 13 million euro, under the table.
- His personality is so magnetic, he is unable to carry credit cards.
- Even his enemy’s list him as there emergency contact.
- He never say’s anything taste like chicken… Not even chicken.
- He speeks fluent French, in Russian.
- His charm is so contagious, vaccines we’re created for it.
- Years ago, he created a city out of blocks. Today over 600,000 people live and work there.
- He is the only person to ever ace a Rorschach Test.
- Every time he goes for a swim. Dolphins appear.
- Alien abductors have asked him, to probe them.
- If he we’re to give you directions… You would never get lost. And you’d arive at least 5 minutes early.
- His legend precedes him, the way lightning precedes thunder.
- His reputation is expanding, faster then the universe.
- He once had an akward moment, just to see how it feels.
- He lives vicariously throug himself.
- It is never too early to start beefing up your obituary (thanks bruce)
- He’s been known to cure narcolepsy just by walking into a room.
- He’s a lover… Not a fighter, but he’s also a fighter, so Don’t get any ideas.
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- Stay Thirsty My Friends
- “He once visited a Psychic…to warn her.” – Mike
- “He planted the idea for the movie ‘Inception’ into Christopher Nolan’s mind while he was dreaming.”
- “Bear hugs are what he gives bears” ~ Jim Ciardullo
- “He once taught a German Shepard how to bark in Russian” ~Allen Chavez
-”His organ donor card also includes his beard” ~Allen Chavez
-”People hang on his every word, even the prepositions” ~Allen Chavez
-”He’s against cruelty to animals, but isn’t afraid to give a stern warning” ~Allen Chavez
- “Chihuahuas have never barked at him, he is just that intimidating.” ~Adam
- “When he goes for a swim he doesn’t get wet, the water gets him.” ~RAMON
- “He is a lover not a fighter, but he is also a fighter so do not get any ideas” ~Bruce
- “The last time he shaved, he donated a double-king sized comforter to an orphanage.” – Gamegeneral
-”He never saves for a rainy day” ~Mike F
- “He takes his salad dressing right on the salad, so there is no going back” ~DB
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He skydives up to the plane.
He wears no shoes because his feet never touch the ground.
He snow ski's down hill… up hill.
He put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp;
He put the ram in the rama lama ding dong;
He put the bop in the bop shoo bop shoo bop;
He put the dip in the dip da dip da dip.
He once played a round of golf using only a twelve-inch piece of rebar and a sun-dried tomato…he shot a 54.
Many countries base the value of their dollar on him.
" His testicles are a study in mathematical symmetry and are perfectly equidistant."
Time fears the Pyramids and the Pyramids fear Him ~ Jerry D. Coleman
He can clean soap with his hands
When he was on a gameshow, the questions answered him
He is responsible for global cooling
Marshmallows toast him.
Kieran O'Donnell Oakville
He taught Chuck Norris the roundhouse kick
If he was ever to be homeless, he'd be the richest man in the world.
ON WINNING:
"Winning isn't everything….unless, of course…. you have never won ANYTHING."
He was given the key to YOUR city…twice.
God prays to him.
Slow color up with His face coming into focus. Eyebrows furrowed, fingers steepled at his chin in thought. As the camera slowly pulls straight away from Him we see shadows of hands gesturing wildly in the foreground.
Voice Over: “He’s been photographed more than Mt. Fuji.”
Steady pullback: A bearded man is slowly revealed on His right, wearing glasses, side-locks and finally, a yarmulke. At the same time, a bearded, man wearing a bright white kufiya and traditional Muslim cloth is revealed on his left. They are seated across a small wooden table in a long, dimly lit room, locked in conflict.
VO: “He calculated π to the last digit…. It’s a 2.”
Their heads are bobbing forward and back, hands flying about, mouths silently snapping in a passionate argument while He listens stoically.
VO: “He knows the only word in English that rhymes with ‘Orange’, but he’s not saying.”
He stands abruptly and puts a hand on the shoulder of each man, mouthing something profound and simple as he turns first left, then right.
VO: “No man is an island—except Him.”
The jaws of both men fall open as their heads slowly turn from Him to each other under the weight of what He has spoken. They first tentatively shake hands, then rise to embrace.
Continuing pullback and swing upward:
He pats both on the back paternally and turns from the table, His eyebrow raised indulgently. In the foreground, Arab & Jew are now swaying together in a deep hug.
VO: “When the police pull him over, He lets them off with a warning.”
Change camera angle to follow him down some stairs to stage left: Having just achieved an enduring peace in the Middle East, He carelessly catches a coat tossed from offstage, pausing to shake it on as he moves through a door opening to an alleyway in an ancient city.
As the camera pulls back, we see two stunning women waiting on either side of the weathered door. One a raven-headed, olive-skinned, blue-eyed beauty in a revealing Isreali soldier’s uniform. The other taller and more beautiful somehow, though snugly covered in a full-length veil, electric green eyes overpowering the scene. Each takes an elbow as he walks nonchalantly away. Panning back inside the building He just left, we glimpse a dozen Arab & Jewish men jumping and dancing together. The oldest are laughing and signing the top page of pile of important looking papers.
VO: “He turned down the Nobel peace prize, until there are no more hard feelings. Anywhere.”
He is….
He's never had blue balls.
He once donated blood he squeezed from a turnip
Quote: Time fears the Pyramids and the Pyramids fear Him.
If he ever were to die, it would be spontaneous combustion, at the time and place of his choosing.
Paul Sr. and Paul Jr. agree he is the most interesting man in the world.
Sasquatch has a cast of his footprint in his cave.
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When life gives him lemons, he makes nuclear weapons
He not only knows the way to San Jose… He s the way to San Jose
He once fixed a car with garlic and a paper clip
His pen is mightier than an AK 47
The shots call him…
When clouds have a silver linings its because ge drew them
He once wrote a check and the bank bounced!
No one ever has to ask, "Who is that?" when he enters any room. Everyone already knows.
Airport Security asks him for a pat down
His morning breath has been sold as breath freshener
"The skeletons in his closet asked to be put there."
He plans to donate his body to science. Or possibly to the arts.
When he goes to church, the priests fight over who gets to hear his confession.
Not only does he know how much a woodchuck can chuck, he knows where it landed.
Maitre d's wait in line to seat him
He can find a piece of hay… in a needle stack
If he ever lost his keys, they would try to find him.
Most tall buildings have a 13th floor that only he can access.
He once fought Chuck Norris and won.
If he made mistakes they would be perfect
Traffic signs obey him.
His birthday falls on a Saturday. Every year.
The sun looks at him to tell what time it is.
"He has successfully counted his chickens before they hatch on 11 different occasions."
The grass is always greener on his side of the tennis court!
IF HE RAN FOR PRESIDENT…..NO ONE ELSE NEED APPLY
his farts bring people together
If he owned a GPS…it would take direction from him.
5 out of 5 doctors recomend a daily dose of him.
He proposed…at his wedding.
He once hit a grand slam with only 2 runners on base.
He doesn't stretch before working out.
He doesn't need a watch to tell what time it is, he uses the sun.
He wins staring contests, even when he blinks.
He climbed Mount Everest in a day, with a broken leg.
He can shoot par on any golf course, with only a putter.
He always stands when he pees, unless he prefers to sit.
A museum was proposed in his honor, but after an exhaustive search, there was not enough infrastructure anywhere earth that could support the inevitable traffic.
the only man on record to have ever stolen first base
Bigfoot hides because of him
He is a world-renowned pilot and has flown around the world in every direction
The more he uses something the newer it gets
In the “running of the bulls”, he chases the bulls rather than them chasing him…..
if everyone in the world but him were dead…there would still be hope for mankind.
the drinking gourd follows him
When he travels ,the customs agents ask him to stamp their passports.
He can read a book without opening it
His charisma can be seen from space
His body contains every chemical element in the known universe
He escaped a camp for prisoners of war — in a matchbox.
He can play the guitar — with his eyebrows
He has memorized the pi — yes, all of it
He can purify a polluted lake by peeing in it
He doesn't need un umbrella, because it never rains when he is out
He once found the fountain of youth , but did not drink from it because he wasn’t thirsty
He only knows victorias secret .
When he travels internationally the customs officials as him to stamp their passport
Employees at the deli counter take a number to wait on him.
When he's in Spain, the bulls run with him
Women stand in line just to kiss the last woman he kissed.
When he sits down on the toilet, there's always toilet paper…
He could like his elbow, if his tongue wasn’t already busy.
He screams out his own name when having sex
editors write letters to him
When he prays…God talks back.
He helped Cupid fall in love.
HE makes the world go round…not money.
Sliced bread is the greatest thing since him.
taxi drivers pay him just for the priviledge of having him in their cab
WAITERS GIVE HIM TIPS
He can from 1-10, backwards
He can fly a plane, while in a car
Even if the pizza man gets there in 30 mins , he still gets the pizza free
The constitution had to be amended because it read "All men are created equal"
Even his mistakes are proven to be right
He was named after himself
You would ask him to use your bathroom
If he took a dump in your bathroom, you would beg him not to flush.
Politicians don’t even bother lying to him.
He has diplomatic immunity to cancer and disease.
He can paint incredibly
detailed works of art while using a broad brush.
Most of the technology used by NASA, was developed by him.
When speaking before a large crowd, the the audience pictures him in his underwear, in order to feel lees nervous.
When the dictionary finds itself at a loss for words, it defers to him.
He has twice fought city hall. Once because it looked at him the wrong way and again, just for the fun of it.
He has been wrong only once and that was when he mistakenly thought that he was wrong about something else.
The concept of doubt, simply has never occurred to him.
If you lived next door to him, you would cut his grass and weed his garden for free; and thank him.
He once walked on hot coals, they went out.
He has no need for bathroom air fresher
The sun can tell what time it is by looking at him.
deer where camouflage just to get close to him
he uses a lid on his coffee so hobos won't give him money
he plays chess with no hands
we all have our up and down he has his ups and overs
one time love fell in him
priest confess to him
he went to a car lot and sold the salesman a car and collected commision
he audited the irs and WON
he once sky dived…..without a parachute…and still had nine lives
Once he sky dived…..without a parachute….and he still had nine lives.
When he plays baseball he was the pitcher…and the catcher…
he rides a bike without wheels.
He's a good friend of Jimmy Hoffa, they often drink Dos Equis
He's never been a beginner… at anything.
If you paid him a compliment, he'd still expect change.
Not only did he win one for the Gipper, he won two.
He logs onto facebook to check his own Status.