The Most Interesting Man in the World Quotes – Over 1000 Quotes
Welcome My Friends. Here is a complete collection of The Most Interesting Man in the World Quotes.
It’s up to you to help us put them in the right order. All the user submitted ones are at the bottom… Put Thumbs Up or Thumbs Down in the Comments to rank them (like YouTube)… The best ones are at the top- be sure to check out all the user submitted ones tho for hidden gems! Make sure you post yours as well.
Recommended Listening while you read:
Tags: Dos Equis
New 2010:
“He is the life of parties he has never attended”
“If he were to punch you in the face, you’d have to fight off the urge to thank him.”
Classics
- Police often question him, just because they find him interesting.
- His beard alone has experienced more than a lesser mans body.
- His blood smells like cologne.
- He has amassed an amazingly large DVD collection, and has never once alphabetised it.
- If he were to mail a letter without postage, it would still get there.
- The pheromones he secretes effect people miles away… in a slight, but measurable way.
- He once punched a magician. That’s right, you heard me.
- His hands feel like rich, brown swede.
- He lived in the hills of the Serengeti for a summer after being gifted a wife by a local tribes men.
- He owns 4 sports cars, and rents 5.
- He taught a horse to read his email for him.
- He almost broke the land speed record in 1977, popular opinion among his team was that is beard caused to much wind resistance. He would have shaved it… No, no he wouldn’t have.
- He was the featured man at a bachelorette auction he brought in over 13 million euro, under the table.
- His personality is so magnetic, he is unable to carry credit cards.
- Even his enemy’s list him as there emergency contact.
- He never say’s anything taste like chicken… Not even chicken.
- He speeks fluent French, in Russian.
- His charm is so contagious, vaccines we’re created for it.
- Years ago, he created a city out of blocks. Today over 600,000 people live and work there.
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- Every time he goes for a swim. Dolphins appear.
- Alien abductors have asked him, to probe them.
- If he we’re to give you directions… You would never get lost. And you’d arive at least 5 minutes early.
- His legend precedes him, the way lightning precedes thunder.
- His reputation is expanding, faster then the universe.
- He once had an akward moment, just to see how it feels.
- He lives vicariously throug himself.
- It is never too early to start beefing up your obituary (thanks bruce)
- He’s been known to cure narcolepsy just by walking into a room.
- He’s a lover… Not a fighter, but he’s also a fighter, so Don’t get any ideas.
Staff Picks From Comments
2010
- “He once visited a Psychic…to warn her.” – Mike
- “He planted the idea for the movie ‘Inception’ into Christopher Nolan’s mind while he was dreaming.”
- “Bear hugs are what he gives bears” ~ Jim Ciardullo
- “He once taught a German Shepard how to bark in Russian” ~Allen Chavez
-”His organ donor card also includes his beard” ~Allen Chavez
-”People hang on his every word, even the prepositions” ~Allen Chavez
-”He’s against cruelty to animals, but isn’t afraid to give a stern warning” ~Allen Chavez
- “Chihuahuas have never barked at him, he is just that intimidating.” ~Adam
- “When he goes for a swim he doesn’t get wet, the water gets him.” ~RAMON
- “He is a lover not a fighter, but he is also a fighter so do not get any ideas” ~Bruce
- “The last time he shaved, he donated a double-king sized comforter to an orphanage.” – Gamegeneral
-”He never saves for a rainy day” ~Mike F
- “He takes his salad dressing right on the salad, so there is no going back” ~DB
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When he finds something, it's not in the last place he looked.
He said the reason he's never ran for president is because he can't make the rules if he doesn't live by them.
He enjoys the thrill of bankruptcy
He was invited several times to join the A team, but he turned it down so that he could go end global warming with his bare hands
Everyday at noon on the top of mount Nihon Hyaku-meizan in Japan he gives himself a lice check
He enjoys skydiving… with no parachute
He finds evidence of evolution in his backyard
He can blow out a candle just by staring it down
He prefers photos unframed because life should be on the edge
When he threw the first pitch at a MLB baseball game, the coaches fought each other to get him on their team.
He knows, who let the dogs out.
He trained "Flipper", and three weeks later, replaced him in the cast.
Horses whisper to him.
Steven Hawking believes that he created the universe.
When Atlas Shrugged, he assumed the burden
He once ate a Scotch Bonnet pepper, and one hour late shit an icecube.
He once braised a live chicken in his descending colon!
Women melt in his hands. Literally. His dry cleaning bills are astronomical.
He once took out a 30 year mortgage at 8%. He's that bold.
He exercised "Le droit de seigneur" with Princess Diana, with the approval of Charles.
He wrote Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I Have a Dream" speech, after months of insomnia.
He was one of the team of mechanics that repaired "Herbie" mid-film.
Sophia Loren calls him "Papi".
Ricky Martin calls him "Papi".
He stood up Sonia Braga for her senior prom.
A vampire conducted an interview with him.
He wears a necklace sporting a pinky finger of Anthony Quinn. Quinn outbid Telly Savalas.
He has never masturbated in his life. It just wasn't necessary.
As a teenager, he once "pantsed" Hugo Chavez.
He went to Spain to run with the bulls….the bulls went on strike
A swarm of killer bees once ran from him
When he plays with animals, the plants cry.
ALSO I would shorten the one about dolphins above, to: When he swims, dolphins appear.
James Bond would NOT make a pimple on this man's ass.
When he gives blood, countries thank him
He has met me without even knowing me
When he does push ups, he doesnt push himself up, he pushes the World away.
He once had a staring contest with himself in a mirror for 2 days.. on the 3rd day, he won.
when time is of the essence, he is the essence.
He was the first person to jump out of a perfectly good airplane…without a parachute.
You would feel safe on a 777 over the atlantic ocean with him on board, even after the entire crew dies from food poisoning.
He once told The Terminator, "I'll be back."
He is the Deadliest Catch
He had so many friends on MySpace they had to create a new website… Facebook
He sings kareoke in Cantonese.
Danger has his middle name.
the money from overdraft fees goes to him
Women buy him a drink at the bar
He taught einstein physics
When he goes to the movies, the projector stops, the lights come up, and the audience watches him.
He does not reflect off a mirror; mirrors reflect off of him.
He is what separates the men from the boys; the men from the gods.
Dyslexics consider him doglike
If he was your pilot you'd hope for a crash landing
he once ate just one lays potato chip…just one
The sun rises every morning to watch him wake up.
He puts his pants on both legs at a time
People with amnesia remember him.
He wakes up sleeping dogs….he never lets them lay.
Chuck Norris fears him
His cigarettes light themselves
Every time he plays the lottery, he wins!
he once held himself for ransom
His ass wipes itself..
He flosses his teeth before eating corn on the cob
he once punched a man in the soul.
wow… this ones awesome. hahaha
At the zoo, he is allowed to feed the animals.
He was the first man to goto Jared
when he tells time he is always right
He knows what's eating Gilbert Grape, because he told him to.
He is allowed to feed the animals at the zoo.
He has once won a game of chess without a king.
He can see the future…. from the past.
dont ask your country what it can do for you, just ask him
The United States has a spot on Mount Rushmore reserved for his face……just to the left of George Washington.
His profile was caught by astronomers during the most recent eclipse
Orphans once started a charity… for him.
It's been said that God has a "Him" complex.
If a tree falls and doesnt make a sound. He hears it
he is the worlds number one dad though he has no sons
he only drinks from the holy grail
he was born with a full beard
his beard is worth more than troy palamalus hair
He lights his cigars with thunder
He has won the Cy Young award twice but has never thrown a pitch
His farts are scentless and his shit doesn't stink
He sleeps On 4 different Boats and lease 5 others
The Isreali intelligence community has inquired on many occasions, about his name,his beard,and his thirst -in no particular order.
Over coffee one day with Lisbeth Salander he mentioned, "I think a nice dragon tattoo on your back would help you be more assertive". The rest is history.
His dog bags and throws away its own poop.
He once walked into a bank and the bank robbed him.
His groceries check themselves out.
His investments contain derivatives, but his investments are primarily barley and hops.
His beard has a higher IQ than most Harvard professors……..
he has sex with women he has never met!
He will contradict the saying "When you die you cant take it with you" He will.
He once taught Jacques Cousteau how to scuba, he never needed the tank….
Babe Ruth didn't call his shot. He was only acknowledging MIMW in the stands.
the phrase, "making love" was coined by the first woman lucky enough to sleep with him.
he doesn't play golf, but if he did he would beat you blindfolded.
the bartender always tips him
He's a lover not a fighter, but he fights as great as he makes love.
When he is in Rome, the Pope asks him for an audience……
at the mere mention of his name, Mike Tyson falls to the floor and cries like a baby….
five beauty queens once fought over his used condom…..
If he were to have his biography on CD, it would take two lifetimes to listen to it.
He once won a staring contest with his own reflection.
He was once up the creek without a paddle, and the creek hasn't stopped apologizing.
His name rhymes with orange
His name rhymes with orange.
Bond, James Bond calls him or leaves a message every day.
he uses tigers for house cats
He once engaged in a staring contest with a fish and won!
He once proved p^~p, by induction on his beard hairs.
Before She met him, the Invisible Pink Unicorn was merely invisible.
He once shaved off his beard, that moment in time was called "The Great Depression"
No matter where He goes He is always welcome. And always on time. .no matter when he arrives.
More than 500,000 women claim to have his love child. He has never denied the rumors.
He was once offered the position of Emperor of Earth. He declined. He has more important things to do.
He was told to sleep with one eye open… He Did
He is allowed to talk about fight club
if he were your cellmate, it wouldn't be called rape
He once told a spider mole how to say Marcus Dunswald.
He locks his door to protect intruders from himself
when kife gives him lemons, he makes dos equis
he has played to sold out concerts all over the world, playing air guitar.
he has never made re-fried beans. he gets it right the first time.
He once lead a horse to water, and made him drink.
Babe Ruth was pointing at him
Extraterrestrials are searching space to find out if he really exists
The Leaning Tower of Pisa rested on his shoulder
Superman reads comic books about him
When assaulted by muggers, they give him all their money.
A jury of his peers found him Guilty…of perfection.
If he were to go to New Jersey, he would pump his own gas
My recent post Lorem Ipsum
He can fool all of the people all of the time.
If he were 5min late, he'd still be on time.
He once Chuck Norrised Chuck Norris….twice.
He once birdied a par three with a four-putt
"Has taught old dogs a variety of new tricks"
"He has talked to a brick wall and it actually spoke back"
"He has bitten off a lot of things, but never more than he could chew"
"Has often professed the difference between his ass and a hole in the ground"
"He can see the forest AND the trees"
"Has actually made a molehill out of a mountain"
"His thumb is the one all the rules were written about"
When he was in school, teachers signed up to take his classes
He once saved an entire litter of baby pandas from freezing, with his beard.
He has been to eight continents.
Women are gay for him.
"when in Pamplona….the Bulls Run from him"
The Most Interesting Man in the World: Certainty
"There are four things in life that are certain; death, taxes, the resistance to them, and stupidity. I have my doubts about the first three."
Stay thirsty my friends.
He killed curiosity, because it was look ing at his cat wierdly.
"He has discovered the meaning of life, and found it to be boring"
When he farts, people don't hold their breath.
People don't mind when he eats with his mouth open, so they can see what he is eating.
he would have created the world Iin only 6 days
He defeated a blue whale in
A breath holding competition… With time to spare
His car runs on his personality alone
His personality is so electric that every device in a mile radius recharges
God prays to him
Tragedies only happen when he’s sleeping
To him gravity is just a freindly suggestion
-To him the ten commandments are only guidlines
-He would have won the battle of Thermopylae, by himself
-His looks CAN kill
-He only speaks in aimbic pentameter
-God believes in him
-He’s cheated death four times, because he can
-Fate doesn’t apply to him
-Tigers refuse to fight him bare handed
-When cobras bite him they die
His presence cures disease
Viruses fear him
The boogie man is afraid of him
He gives Slurpees brain freeze.
Children trust him.
Moses asked him to sneeze in front of the Red Sea.
He invented water.